Archives de catégorie : Retro games camp

A chacune son Raymond, celui de Carla Bruni a été président de la République 4 ans, le mien président de la société de chasse de Latrecey pendant 30 ans.

Un seul point commun, un tempérament coléreux. Mais les colères du Raymond, mon folklorique grand-père, mélange étonnant de bohème, comedia dell’arte et racines rurales, n’ont jamais fait peur à personne. Bien au contraire, elles étaient un spectacle comique gratuit et  et certains s’amusaient un tant soit peu à les provoquer pour en jouir.

Mon Raymond, je ne l’ai pas mis dans une chanson, mais dans un livre, Retro games camp,  et puis ce n’était pas mon Raymond, c’était celui des latrecéens. Moi, cétait mon pépère!

3 ados de 2012, vivant dans un monde digital et urbain sont envoyés en vacances dans un village perdu de la France profonde des années 70.
Ils vont rencontrer des gens très bizarres et même plus.
Ils vont vivre comme faisaient leurs parents, ados à l’âge prénumérique ….
Mésaventures burlesques et découvertes instructives au programme.

mon raymond



Retro games camp, episode 33, back

The nervous guy fretting and shouting had at least made himself clear. They had to go back because otherwise Pierre  would be stuck on that day of August 2012 where no member of his families and none of his friends are in Paris. Alone forever.  He had to return to his ordinary life as he had left it, in the retro games camp coach with his brother and cousin.
– And the notebook and what I’ve been said?
– They just wanted to occupy you.  They did not  need to do the same with your brother and cousin. They were busy enough.
The very very old lady looked very very disappointed but she was the first to get out of the room saying nicely:
– Come Pierre, I have already had a very long life and part of it was really interesting. It’s your turn.

When they stepped out of the retro games camp coach near Paris, in the parking lot of a super U, the boys were immediately embraced and questionned avidly by their parents. They wanted to know how they had felt deprived of their usual electronic paraphernalias and what they had learnt.

– Cycling, answered cautiously François.
– Girls, claimed Thomas.
– Nothing, snapped a very moody Pierre.

Despite his parents’s cajoling and the reunion with his friends, Pierre spent the evening  in heavy melancholia. He had not imagined how deeply he would miss Monsieur Antoine, le Raymond and the very very old lady. He even missed the acid Cousinette….

Retro games camp, episode 32, back or quite…

As soon as they were in the confessionnal, the deafening noise, the blinding light, the feeling of falling and climbing at ultra high speed. And a sudden halt.

They went out. It was really strange… And quite disturbing….

But they had no time to analyse what they were seing. A nervous guy rushed on them and pushed them back in the confesionnal. He spoke nervoulsy:
– Sorry. I made another blunder. Don’t know what’s happening. First, I made a minus instead of a plus and now, I pushed the button twice.  Really sorry. I swear. It won’t happen again.

On entering the confessionnal, Pierre concentrated as much as he could, more than ever.

Agian, the deafening noise, the blinding light, the feeling of falling and climbing at ultra high speed. And a sudden halt.

Yippee, they were on the terrace of his home in Paris. He rushed in his bedroom followed slowly by the very very old lady. She looked around obviously puzzled. He began to explain. Each explanation triggered a new question.
Pierre explained patiently that he lived in a loft, part of an ex printing factory, slept in a bed perched on legs, a mezzanine, played with his friends without them being there using a computer or a console, had a phone with no cord working everywhere including in other countries…

It could have lasted hours but the nervous man burst in the room shouting like mad:
– You must get back, you must.
The very very old lady retorted immediately:
– Oh no, it is so fascinating. You know when I was young, lots of new things happened, telephone, trains, planes, cars, radio, television and then nothing more for years… Just that aquanatu walking on the moon, but nothing new for us. No difference in our day to day life. And there, all those things… I want a laptop, a cell phone and a webcam. I want to do hangouts with friends on google+. I want to have fun. I want…

Summary and link to previous episodes :

Retro games camp, episode 31, travelling

The following day, Pierre had more luck if one can say that.

After lunch, he met the very very old lady. She notice his preoccupied air and inquired gently about it.
Her sweetness unnerved him. He took his parents’ letter out of his pocket and quite thrust it in her face.
She took it softly, read it and declared:
– I have an idea.

On entering the village’s church, he recieved a thermic shock, it was as icy and humid insige as it was hot and dry outside. And he wondered, why on earth had he followed that oldie so confused she believed she was in 1942 and not in 1972…

He entered the confesional to please her.  She was losing her marbles a bit, but so sweetly. He was convinced nothing would happen. And wham….

A deafening noise, a blinding light and the feeling of falling and climbing in the same time and both at ultra hight speed. Suddenly it stopped…

They were in the same place exactly. The very very old lady murmured disappointed:
– I am sorry Pierre. I was sure it would work.
Pierre shrugged. The very very old lady refrained from telling him how inelegant that gesture was. Pierre spoked calmly:
– No trouble. You tried. That’s nice.

Pierre opened the church’s door to go out and closed it immediately. Argh! No doutb, the very very old lady had unsettled the Tardis with her unsettled mind.  He had caught sight of german soldiers in nazi uniform.

He grabbed the very very old lady’s arm and dragged her in the confesional…

Summary and link to previous episodes :

Le confessionnal

Retro games camp, episode 30, dreams

Pierre was unwinding from his fruitless and hurtful search of a Tardis in the café room, drinking Sic. Yes, one can get accustomed to very strange things…. He heard a curious noise in the street and went out to see what was the matter.

He saw a small wiry man with a drum quite as big as himself. A drum roll and the little man grumbled something about rabbit and myxomatosis.  A few tottering steps and again the drum roll and the grumble. He had already seen the guy in the café coming for ‘chopines of blanc’. When he vacillated from too much ‘chopines’, the Raymond told him to go home.

Pierre went back in the café. The Raymond was not there, gone to water his vegetable garden ‘behind the bridges’. The owner’s absence did not disrupt the service. It was taken in charge by some of the regular customers who also managed the cash box totally freely. Pierre had already noticed that the Raymond was very cool as far as earning money was concerned, but to that point… He was amazed.  And he did not know that, cherry on the cake, the green cash box was nothing else than the sewing box of the Raymond’s younger daughter.

The following night Pierre dreamt of giant rabbits, stolen money and retro times travels.

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Retro games camp, episode 29, experiments

Pierre spent the whole afternoon looking for something resembling a Tardis.

Meanwhile, Thomas and François were with the girls, in the girls’ garden.  They had been put under house arrest by their parents. They had been harshly punished for having explored the relationships between males and females with older males, but they were determined to go on probing the subject. They decided they could use younger boys as substitutes.

As a consequence Thomas and François were tremendously enjoying themselves. Fearing that the parents could go to the bottom of the garden to check what was going on there was not enough to spoil their pleasure.

Pierre, at last, made a discovery. The vehicle did not look like a tardis, but it was a strange vehicle and it looked as if it had already much travelled in time… And they had said it could sometimes be camouflaged in something else. Out of despair, he gave it a try.
With many difficulties he crawled inside. Nothing happened. All he got was bruises, nettle stings and scratches…


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Retrogames camp, episode 28, the cheek

Pierre’s parents had put in their letter, the Sos paper Pierre had sent them.

They had written their answer on its back.

Dear Pierre,

A bit emphatic!

We follow what happens in the camp through a website. It is not that horrible! Living for a while without any electronic devices and internet  will do the three of you much good.

Your sudden interest in Tardis is quite surprising. We read somewhere that it can be camouflaged in other things but the shape remain globally the same.

You don’t ask but, yes, we get well.

Enjoy the last days of your camp.

Big kisses

Mum and Dad.

And they had had the cheek to include the printout of a wikipedia’s page…. He would suggest them a no electronic device  cure if he ever managed to get back.

Where would he find a police box in Latrecey, lost village of deep France?
The TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimension iSpace)[nb 2] is a time machine and spacecraft in the British science fiction television program Doctor Who and its associated spin-offs.

The unpredictability of the TARDIS’s short-range guidance (relative to the size of the Universe) has often been a plot point in the Doctor’s travels. Also in « The Doctor’s Wife », the TARDIS reveals that much of this « unpredictability » was actually intentional on her part in order to get the Doctor « where [he] needed to go » as opposed to where he « wanted to go ».

Although « TARDIS » is a type of craft rather than a specific one, the Doctor’s TARDIS is usually referred to as « the » TARDIS or, in some of the earlier serials, just as « the ship », « the blue box », « the capsule » or even « the police box ».[nb 3]

Doctor Who has become so much a part of British popular culture that not only has the shape of the police box become more immediately associated with the TARDIS than with its real-world inspiration, the word « TARDIS » has been used to describe anything that seems to be bigger on the inside than on the outside.[6] The name TARDIS is a registered trademark of the British Broadcasting Corporation.[7]


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Retro games camp, episode 27, confessions of a ghost,

Pierre had been allowed to stay in the little red room.  He was on the verge of sleep when he saw the ghost, Albert Antoine.
– Hello Pierre.
– Hello Monsieur Antoine

This time, the ghost was not smiling. He had an air of deep sadness.
– So she spoke about us.
– You mean Cousinette. Yes. Why did you marry her if you found her unattractive?
– She was attractive, indeed she was…. I was not attracted to her… In fact, I was not attracted to women at all… I hoped it would work. She was a lovely and lively young woman, full of joy. I had persuaded me it could work and my confessor had told me, thay he had seen lots of men like me where it had worked… I did not deceive myself for long!

Albert Antoine made a long pause and tears came to his eyes.
– You know Pierre, it was so difficult to be an inverted at that time. Yes, inverted, that the word they used! It tells everything…. We were far from being gay…. I was in politics. I had no hope with that label attached to me. She was attracted to a man who was not of her condition.  Her parents and my confessor managed the thing. It was to be a good affair for both parts…. She turned sour and I never got the responsiblities I deserved. I stayed the second doing the job in the shade while the first collected the rewards… I remained what I was and being married did nothing to it and to the label. I had been dishonest and naive together.

He made a new pause, breathe out a long whisper.
– It’s probably because of my attitude that I became  a ghost. I was already one in my real life.

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Retro games camp, episode 26, pluck no more

The café was closed on Sunday evening. So Cousinette accompanied Thomas and François who were coming bak. She even accepted the Raymond’s invitation to have a tipple with a nice meal.

One tipple after one tippple, Cousinette turned from less stern to quite joyful towards the end of the meal. While Cousinette sipped, the Raymond spoke, enchaining picturesque anecdotes.

He came to one of his favorite, the aborted wedding of the Marie-Louise. Marie-Louise had a massive bosom, but it was obviously not that convincing an argument of seduction. On the morning of her wedding, she rushed in the kitchen where dozens of winged creatures were to be cooked for the feast, yelling and crying :
– Pluck no more, pluck no more.
Her back had just told her that no, after thorough thinking over, he did not want to say yes….

This story stirred something in Cousinette and she confided:
– I should have done that!
– Jesus Christ, Cousinette, your husband was such a nice man!
– Such a nice man, but we have had no child.
– It happens. It’s bad luck. You must do with it.
– It was not bad luck. After 2 years of marriage, I was sad and I spoke of that to my confessor.
There she blushed, giggled strangely and went on:
– Imagine his lack of decency. He asked me if we made love enough. I told him the truth. Albert tried a little on our wedding night. I told him it was disagreable and he stopped immediately and forvere. And that pig of a curé answered me I had to take a lover.  I was deeply shocked and offenced. I immediately changed of confessor.

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Retro games camp, episode 24, conversation with a ghost

As Pierre was alone, he had been allowed to sleep in the little red room. It was quite no more than a box above the stairs. But he would not have to wait for the cinema man to get up to go to the toilet. Precious.
He had loved the cinema even if the film was melodramatic crap. He felt very comfortable in the tiny room. He was slowly sliding in sleep when he noticed the ghost watching him.
-Hello Pierre
– Hello Monsieur Antoine.
They had a long conversation.
Monsieur Antoine provided Pierre with some of the answers required to board on the Tardis and advised him to question the Raymond for the other ones.
– He will find it strange.
– No, he loves to tell stories and he is very good at it. You’ll see.
As far as the Tardis was concerned, he had no clue.
– But at least, do you know when I am?
– What do you mean Pierre?
– The retro games camp guy wrote me to tell I had been sent from 2012 to 1972 but the very very old lady thinks we are during the war, at the cinema the news dated from 1952 and all the magazines in the café are from the 60’s…
– As a ghost, I can’t help you much, time does not exist any more for me.

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